Redefining the Relationship to our Imposter Syndrome in Pursuit of Peak Performance -

Redefining the Relationship to our Imposter Syndrome in Pursuit of Peak Performance

The Imposter Syndrome

I have often felt isolated on my pursuits to accomplish any big goal or dream in my life. Not in the sense of not having support, which I’m grateful and privilaged have always been present in abundance. But instead, isolated in the sense that I have no one to share what I’m going through who would understand and be able to help me navigate such an unchartered path. Whether it be earning a Division 1 Scholarship, aspiring to compete in Track & Field at the Olympics, or earning executive leadership roles in my career.

My guess is I’m not alone.

Most of us, when extending beyond what we’re familiar with in pursuit something we’re passionate in, feel like we have ‘no clue’ what we’re doing. We are imposters doing our best not to show our anxiety, fear and self-doubt to the outside world as we barely hold it together inside.

A word of permission. I believe the existence of our Imposter Syndrome is actually a sign that we are doing some very important things right.

We have a strong enough foundation of values and virtues that we are willing to take a stand and pursue something of importance.
1. In the Deep End Mindset it is this Foundation we use to “Escape the comfort zone”
We understand our inner passions to the point that we are willing to take on the risk and fear of failure to accomplish something great.
1. This is where we summon courage to climb the high dive and jump off into the Deep End.
We have sustained our pursuit long enough that we are now facing adversity, challenge and obstacle.
1. This is where magic happens in the Deep End and we have the capacity to grow the outer limits of ourselves.

As with so many of the most important conversations going on inside our head – often it is a matter of how we choose (or unconsciously submit) to frame these conversations that will determine our emotional and physiological reaction. I believe we have the opportunity to redefine the relationship with our Imposter Syndrome to a positive one. It is a rite of passage – it means we are exactly where we need to be.

Taking Ownership over our Relationship with Fear, Doubt and the Unknown

After now over 20 years of living as an imposter, my observation and experience has been that the imposter syndrome narrative never goes away. In fact, if it does go away, it likely is a better indicator that you have taken your foot off the accelerator and are either intentionally or unconsciously spending time in the comfort zone. Our imposter syndrome doesn’t venture into the comfort zone, it doesn’t need to as it knows the walls of self-doubt and eroding confidence take care of themselves as we grow accustomed to mediocrity and the lull of false safety.

No, if you’re pushing your limits, you will always have to navigate that voice in your head telling you that you’re crazy for thinking you can do this. You can take relief in knowing this feeling is normal and in many ways means you have found a potent intersection of values, inner passions, life long skills and purpose.

I found it helpful and comforting to acknowledge that even the most confident among us battle with these feelings and emotions. And further that it is OK and actually healthy and productive for us to talk about these feelings and experiences. The pink elephant in the room loses some of it’s stature as we expose it through sharing with others and building strength in numbers and shared experience (a core tenant of the Human Performance Lab Coaching Programs).

A Power Combination: Mindfulness & Visualization

The most effective equation I have found to redefining my relationship with my imposter syndrome has been a consistent practice of mindfulness meditation and visualization.

I have to step back and reflect for a moment to recall the first time I practiced either of these techniques. It likely was before I can remember as a child, through my parents’ coaching, just as we coach our young girls now. But as early as 9 and 10 years old I remember my family, my inner circle of supporters, beginning to coach me through visualization and mindfulness techniques.

Funnily enough, it wouldn’t be until about 15 years later, when competing at the Canadian Track and Field 2016 Olympic Trials, that the light bulb would burst to light on to the immense power of mindfulness and visualization.

In summary, I was in my first year of a 5 year pilgrimage to qualify and compete in the 2020 Tokyo Olympics. One of my first big events in this journey was the 2016 Rio Olympic Trials which doubles as the Canadian Track and Field Championships. In all fairness I had very little ‘earned right’ to be at those Olympic Trials – I had been throwing for less than a year and my results had been mediocre at best.

And guess what, I knew it. My ego made sure I felt and experienced every ounce of that doubt and insecurity of being a true imposter on the scene. Despite standing at 6 foot 6 inches and weighing 250 pounds, I felt like a tiny ant who had lost their way and was now shriveling up around Canada’s “real” Track and Field athletes.

Thankfully, I have lived through this excruciating experience of anxiety and self-doubt many times before. And the first thing I did upon arriving on-site for the Championships was develop a standard daily ritual complete with a detailed schedule of my activities and timeline. Developing this sense of ‘knowing’ has always helped me build a small beachhead of stability and consistency amidst of swirling emotions that come with floundering in the Deep End, exposed to imposter syndrome. The cornerstones of that daily program was an intentional and explicit meditation and visualization practice that would take place in the morning, before and after my training sessions, and in the evening.

Preparing for Peak Performance Windows

Each session would begin with a standard mindfulness meditation practice of 5-10 minutes. At some point towards the end of the seated meditation, I would transition to laying on my back and proceed to begin an incredibly intense and focused visualization practice which would also last between 5 and 10 minutes. From here, depending on the day, I would either mindfully transition to my morning routine or prepare for my training session, in the afternoon or evening I would transition to a nap or sleep.

Adam Ondra one of the world’s best climbers showing the intensity of his visualization practice in preparation for a climb.

You’re Doing it Right

There was nothing special that occurred during any of these sessions. No illuminating insight, learning or feeling. It was simply a practice I had been ingrained with over the years of pursuing peak performance across sport, school, business and life.

I still experienced nearly crippling waves of anxiety on the day of my event and in the minutes leading up to stepping into the ring for the first time. But I also noticed something else, almost like a nervous system rip-cord I could pull by taking 2-3 deep breaths and whispering positive mantras to myself. I could feel my entire body and nervous system transition into a very calm and relaxed state – I believe so deeply in the ability we all have to “steel ourselves” as a critical primer to achieving peak performance – this feeling was the embodiment of that.

Despite the nerves – or likely more accurately: because of the combination of nerves and conscious ownership over my physiological state through mindfulness and visualization – I broke through in the moment that mattered and performed at my best. I threw a lifetime Personal Best and earned a 3rd place podium spot at my first Canadian National Championships and Olympic Trials.

Why Meditation and Visualization

I believe the reason why Meditation and Visualization are such potent tools to redefining our relationship with our Imposter Syndrome and amplifying our Peak Performance is simple, but important.

While there are a countless number of benefits to Mindfulness meditation, in the context of our Imposter Syndrome and Peak Performance, the value of Meditation comes in the strengthening of our conscious ability to guide our attention, focus and energy into the present moment. You see, just like experiencing self-doubt and regrets comes from allowing our attention and focus to get sucked into the past, our Imposter Syndrome only exists when we allow that same attention to be sucked into a future that doesn’t yet exist. Of course, we are not necessarily choosing for our attention and focus to be sucked into worrying about the future. And this is exactly the point, ownership over our attention, focus and energy is a muscle we must train. The most effective training protocol I have found for taking back ownership over my units of attention and focus is Mindfulness Meditation.

Mindfulness meditation also has the benefit of typically moving us into a parasympathic nervous system state. Through my experience, the most powerful state to perform visualization in is this rest and digest, relaxed parasympathetic state. Like with meditation, the science on visualization is out as it relates to having tangible and measurable positive impacts on real life Peak Performance. When we practice a fully immersive visualizing, like the video of Adam above, we are actually creating and strengthening the neural pathways in our brain that will be used for those exact activities during our live event.

Ultimately, the combination of these two simple rituals, mindfulness meditation and visualization, consistently practiced in over weeks, months and years provide us with the tools to redefine our relationship with our Imposter Syndrome and deploy more attention, energy and focus into Peak Performance.

Where to from here?

It starts with doing the work and developing a consistent practice. I would recommend finding an event on the horizon that you want to be at your best for and committing to a 30 day daily mindfulness and visualization practice leading up to your event. No event, commit to 30 days and document your journey through a daily journey, see if you notice any changes in yourself as you look back.

5 minutes of meditation per day. 5 minutes of visualization.

If you need some support or guidance on either of these practices, don’t hesitate to reach out to us – we’re here to support you in your journey.