Several months ago, I found myself feeling torn and restless.

On the outside, all looked well: a great corporate role with a world-class team in a blossoming executive leadership career, financial security, time with family, and moments of pause and restoration on our fourth-generation family farm. Inside, I could feel the pang of what I’ve come to learn is the growing gap between how I am spending my time and my deepest intrinsic passions, purpose, and life’s work.

For decades, I have been mentoring and speaking to aspiring individuals and teams in sports, education, and business about the value of having an internal navigational roadmap for life and a toolkit to persevere and thrive through the challenge and adversity that is part of any meaningful journey.

I was beginning to see that now, more than ever, this work in our businesses, athletics teams, front-line workers, and education systems is needed.

Deep down, I knew my life’s work was supporting leaders and teams to develop this structured mindset, culture, and set of tools that foster neuro-physiological connection and abundance. There was no question. Pursuing this vision, I realized, would eventually require a complete leap into the unknown of The Deep End.

The stories, narratives, and excuses to stay put were rampant in my mind. 101 rational arguments to stay tethered to the known, to the responsible thing to do, to the comfort zone.

Letting go to grow

Letting go of control, certainty, and the well-trodden path is one of the most challenging things for us to do as humans.

I am grateful that from an early age, I was taught by parents, coaches, and mentors to listen and pay attention to my gut and my intuition. As I honed this part of my internal compass and roadmap, I learned there is a connection between our deep intuitive knowing and the more concrete and definable intrinsic motivations, core values, and life-long skills.

Redefining our relationship with fear

The challenge is that when we listen to this internal navigational system, we are confronted with the reality that following this internal compass will lead us directly into the unknown, with a full dose of uncertainty, fear, adversity, and risks. Our systems (think body, brain, heart, and nervous system) do not fare well with these ponderings. Our brains regress to primal instincts and leverage our nervous system to induce a powerful state of fight or flight, flooding our bodies with a cocktail of endorphins and neurotransmitters that cause feelings and stories of fear, doubt, and failure to ramp up. Our bodies become agitated, succumbing to the dysregulated state, and our hearts desperately search for connection at the prospect of venturing into new territory.

But we all know where the magic in life happens. On the other side.

First Principles: Build Our Foundation

Our best decision-making comes atop a strong foundation: a clear set of values, intrinsic motivators, and life-long skills to pursue. From this strong and steady foundation, we can summon the courage and self-belief to persevere through the initial state of fight or flight and the stories of fear, doubt, or failure that can be so powerful at first. If we’ve developed strong tools that allow us to partner with our nervous system, we can down-regulate, shift perspective, cultivate abundance, and pause. We realize that not only are the fear, anxiety, and stories of doubt not real, but they are clues and signals that we are about to do something of true meaning and importance in life.

A New Perspective

I tend to remind myself that on a spectrum of hundreds or thousands of years, our ego’s constant need for self-comparison and outward accomplishment is entirely irrelevant. The only measures that matter are how we feel today, right now, and our capacity to do meaningful and purpose-driven work, foster loving relationships and community, and have a positive impact on those around us.

I remind myself of the timeless truths that tend to get lost in the pressure and emotions of big and meaningful life decisions.

• I remind myself that in the big picture, no one will care how ‘successful’ I am in business.
• I won’t be remembered or revered for any specific accomplishment.
• My kids won’t care if I exit with equity at the sacrifice of months or years of not being there for them.
• I told the imposter in my mind that this body of work I love is needed. If not me, then who? If there were a paved road to leading this work, it would be easy, and many would already be doing it.
• I remind myself that the stories we tell ourselves to stay in our comfort zone are a mirage and that the biggest risk is waking up years or decades from now, having wished you leaped.

And so leap I did.

I stepped away from my +10 years of senior leadership roles in the corporate world. Said a heartfelt goodbye to my team. I shifted my focus to our family farm, where Natasha and I are building a holistic human performance sanctuary called The Wellness Den. Our vision is to create a world-class retreat space where we curate programs and experiences for individuals and teams of athletes, corporate leaders, entrepreneurs, educators, and young aspiring individuals. Each facilitated experience equips participants with takeaways to build their roadmap to navigate life and a complementary toolkit that ensures our systems (brain/mind, body, heart, nervous system) are regulated, connected, and working in coherence – this is the equation that allows us to access states of flow and peak performance and recovery, restore and grow effectively as individuals and teams.

The Next Chapter

The work is messy, scattered, and challenging. There are so many pieces of the puzzle to help us live holistically at our very best through all chapters of life. Through it all, I stay focused on my themes for this chapter of life: Slow Work, Deep Roots, and Perfect Reps. These themes act as icebergsholding the knowledge and wisdom of all the work, reflection, and excavation I have done to get me here—they immediately remind me why I’m here and where I am going.

Seeking Presence, Fulfillment & Impact

I often remind myself that the outcome of each of us investing in this work is not to access peak performance states or achieve an award or special status. It’s not fame or fortune.

The greatest reward is to feel entirely present, immersed and fulfilled in each moment and experience every day we are alive. We have done the work to part with the past and let go of the future, instead enjoying the highs and lows that come with fighting for our life to survive, persevere, and thrive in The Deep End of life.

What a beautiful journey life is—in all its unknowns, messiness, adversity, moments of flow, joy, and euphoria. I appreciate it all; it is the total sum of a meaningful and well-lived life.

Onwards.